Over the past few days I have been visiting the Atheist mega blog Unreasonable Faith which is run by a nice young man called Daniel.

Unfortunately for Daniel his blog is inhabited by a gang of marauding Atheists who would gladly shit on Jesus’s grave just to prove that they are for real.

These Atheists are so devout that they spend many hours in their basements in Vermont slapping themselves over the head repeatedly with the Living Word like primitive little squirrels just to mock the Lord all the more.

Once they’ve massacred the Bible they will then put it in the toilet and flush it until the toilet backs up. This is the Unreasonable Faith way.

Since I’ve been over in Unreasonable Faith I have been insulted incessantly for being a believer. It will only be a matter of time before the Unreasonable Faith brigade turn up on my doorstep wielding ice cream scoops.

These maniacs will be out for my asshole. They will butcher my fanny until it’s as stretched and colorful as the menacing grins on their faces.

I feel so depressed and stressed at the moment that I’ve shitting black pellets for 4 days now. I’ve lost 5lbs and my balls look all discolored in the bath.

The very fact that I’m staring at my naked body in the mirror is a testimony to the fact that the Unreasonable Faith blog helps warp minds.

How long will it be before I place my head between my legs in a vain attempt to lick the rear of my nutsack?

They are out to get me. All of them. Out to pollute my mind and turn me into one of them.

I’ve even been touching myself whilst watching Oprah. This has got to stop. I’ve never felt so sad in my life.